If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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