the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
