she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Just invented taco cereal.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
