I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
