is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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