Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
