my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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