I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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