so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Buhtt sex?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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