Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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