So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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