I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
