i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
