Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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