R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Can I color on your dick again?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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