Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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