i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
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I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
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It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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