his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
