The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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