Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
