I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize