I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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