i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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