I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
