i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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