just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
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