i always forget guys have bellybuttons
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
