playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
where does the pee come out of this thing
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
