we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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