I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
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I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
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