we're chasing vodka with high fives
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
