Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
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