I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
