i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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