ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
