Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
