is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
