Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
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I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
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Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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