Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
