the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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