That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
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