I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
