I have demons in me.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
