Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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