ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
