you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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