i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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