told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
