btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
