Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
