So drunk its hurt
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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