I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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