And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
