some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
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I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
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