They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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