it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
