Non-Jews are for practice
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
