dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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