Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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