Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My ass is underappreciated
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
