I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
is that a dick in a sweater?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
