So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
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