Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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