I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
