We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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