What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
